


The Internet is for AVEN

by sentientcitizen



Category: BBC’s Sherlock
Genre: Asexuality, Domestic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-19
Updated: 2011-01-19
Packaged: 2017-10-23 02:19:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/245189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sentientcitizen/pseuds/sentientcitizen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If only the world’s smartest man would pay a little more attention, he’d realise he’s married to John as much as to his job.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Internet is for AVEN

**Author's Note:**

  * For [phiremangston](https://archiveofourown.org/users/phiremangston/gifts).



> BBC owns Sherlock, not me, and I'm making no money off this.

Sherlock is in the middle of haranguing the blissfully unaware contestants of “I’m a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!” for their ignorance, sloppy thinking, and general lack of any worthwhile traits, when John Watson leans over to rest his head on Sherlock’s shoulder.

Sherlock freezes. “John,” he says, very carefully. “I thought... it’s just that, we’ve already had this talk, and I really _do_ consider myself married to the job, and-”

“Sherlock,” says John, and Sherlock falls silent. “Look.” John twists his head around to meet Sherlock ‘s eyes. “Everyone thinks we’re an item, right? Everyone. Mrs. Hudson. Mycroft. _Sally Donovan_ , for chrissakes. It’s late, you’re hogging far more’n your fair share of the couch, and I’d like it noted that I did _not_ yell at you about the kidneys in the icebox, even though I almost fried them up for tea.”

“I would have thought a doctor should be able to tell pork kidney from human,” Sherlock muttered, on autopilot.

“You’d be amazed at how alike they look,” John replies, calmly. “The point is, Sherlock, they don’t think we’re together because there’s just not enough gossip in the paper to keep ‘em happy. They think we’re together because in all the ways that count, we _are_. At this point, you’re married to me as much as the job. And if I want to rest my head on your shoulder while we watch awful reality shows of the telly after a bloody long day spent slogging after criminals, then that’s part of the deal, a’right?”

“‘All the ways that count’,” Sherlock says after a moment, “usually includes sex.”

“Look, if it helps, I promise not to touch your knob,” John says, rolling his eyes. “You’re asexual, right, I _get_ it. I’m not looking for sex here, just... some human contact, you know? Since living with you and dating someone else at the same time seems to be a logical impossibility.”

“Oh.” Sherlock is taken aback. “You know about that.”

“What, that I’m never going to be able to date- oh, for chrissake, _yes_ , Sherlock. We might not all be deductive geniuses, but I do know how to use the internet, thanks. The AVEN forums were very helpful.”

“Oh,” says Sherlock again.

There’s a long, slightly awkward silence. John sighs, and begins to sit up.

Sherlock stops him with a firm hand on John’s shoulder.Then, after a moment’s thought, leans down and gives John a gentle peck on the forehead.

“There we go,” says John, seemingly unable to suppress the grin that has suddenly appeared on his face. “Now you’re getting it.” He turns back to the television.

“John?” says Sherlock, after a moment.

“Yeah?” asks John, sleepily content.

“I fancy a cup of tea.”

“By which you mean, ‘John, make me a cup of tea’.”

“...yes.”

“Later,” says John, and snuggles closer.


End file.
